Starting tomorrow I’m doing a 120-day health challenge.

I do really well for a couple of weeks and then something derails me.

I end up drinking beer to dull the pain. I guess I need the break from the constant never-ending pain.

I was thinking about if the 4 or 5-hour break is worth the repercussions. Now, I have even more discomfort because of the beer and junk food that inevitably comes with it.

I’ve been watching bodybuilders getting ready for their shows. How no matter what comes against them they hang in there and do what needs to be done.

The exhaustion, the hunger, the mental torture of it all. They have something really special to look forward to. A reason to hang on and suffer, an ending to the suffering. Because after the show they can eat, get some nice photos of all their effort, maybe a trophy or an IFBB pro card.

I don’t have any of that.

I need a reason.

I’m going to see if I hang in there and do everything I can that is healthy for the next 120-days if my pain will stop. I don’t want to say what it is because I don’t want anyone to use it to try and hurt me more.

I think the biggest take-away would be having the satisfaction of hanging in there for the sake of hanging in there.

I’m going to make a blog post daily of what I eat, my workouts, and I think I’ll put a few biomarkers in here, and some kind of 1 – 10 pain level chart. Maybe there are more good days than I thought, I mean without beer. This is physical pain, so it’s easy to judge.

I don’t have a lot of emotional pain, I’m kind of numb to everything. I’ve stopped having any desire to know someone. I actually posted to meet someone yesterday, but now I don’t want to.

I’ll make several graphs. My HRV is down like 5 points from last week. I’m not sleeping again, after just starting to sleep better. I feel like crying after feeling like laughing. Is this all from a few beers and some candy? I think the other pain was actually less painful after all. lol.

Now if I can keep myself from going crazy from the pain that I won’t mention. I’m like climbing the walls screaming for it stop if only for a few hours…beer.

The only junk I’ll eat is when I visit someone, and then I might fast the next day to make up for it.

Most definitely will be doing intermittent fasting, low carb, no alcohol. I might even quit caffeine…again. I never learn, lol.