I’ve been eating too much lately for various reasons. I have a lot on my mind, and I want to tune it out and not think about anything. I think I ate because I wanted some dopamine and a lot of it. I guess. I can come up with a lot of excuses. What’s funny is I only overate for 2 days, but it feels like months. Like I totally ruined my diet for weeks to come.

I think I’m going to take a different approach for the rest of this month and not track calories and make sure I stick with a mostly carnivore diet. I’ve been distracted by things beyond my control. Maybe, that’s the thing with the food, just want to feel better and not care. I know I can take off whatever weight I put on.

I’m not going to step on a scale until August 1st. I’m going to see how much weight I can lose compared with my last weigh-in.

I’m doing this health blog for my own purposes. I tried to find a place where I fit in and I just don’t.

If I go to a carnivore place there’s too much policing. People get upset with you go beyond some arbitrary set of rules, and act like some kind of enforcer.

If I go to the fasting people, there are too many questions. Mostly stupid ones, like does this break a fast? If you are fasting then fast, why are you asking if you can eat on a fast? Over and over. I wonder how the doctors and nutritionists can answer the same question a million times and not get frustrated. I want to move beyond this and know what is happening to my body while I fast. What happens after 24 hours, and then 48 hours. When do I know a fast needs to be broken. I’m going to post this information as I learn and apply it.

I can see just starting out on some of these diets. There are a million ways and only a few that are right, but finding those few is almost impossible. So, on this blog, I can do what I want, track it, check the results, modify my behavior, and answer to no one but myself.

I have a youtube account I’m going to post some of my stuff on. It’s all for fun. To keep me accountable and interested. Maybe someone might find something useful, but mostly it’s a blog/vlog because I don’t want to be completely isolated or abused.

I think that’s the thing that’s been bothering me. Trying to escape abuse and isolation and there’s no way to do that, but to be alone. Crazy.

I like talking to myself, challenging myself, testing my resolve. I don’t like people interfering in my life if I did I wouldn’t have needed to leave all the support groups I belonged to. I quit Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and only lurk on Instagram, and even that is a quick look-see at some food or exercises.

I do like youtube or its variants. I don’t think I’ll get into trouble posting some stupid weight loss video to show before and after photos or something.

I just need to get my groove, just start and act like I’ve been doing this forever.

So, my goal. Eat as clean as possible for the rest of the month, use the Fitbod app for workouts, post meals, fasts, workouts, and ideas for fun, and don’t stress counting calories or weighing in until August 1st.

Sweet! I’m feeling better already. Now, no stress is allowed, or people who create it.